#Showbiz Ripped Apart

58th Filmfare Awards, Ripped Apart!

The 58th Filmfare awards were given away this Sunday. The following is about a Bollywood lover’s disappointment.

Shah Rukh Khan (in all probability still coping with the financial crunch due to Ra.One) had one release this year: Jab Tak Hai Jaan. It could manage to buy bag only one acting award (Best Actress in a Supporting Role). SRK, however, hosted the show brilliantly along with Saif Ali Khan. No jokes were cracked about Agent Vinod and Ra.One as per the clause of “mutual understanding” signed in an agreement between both the stars.

Gulzar Sahab got the award for Best Lyrics for “Challa”. Being a sport, he proudly accepted that he did not expect this, as he himself is a fan of “Teri Keh Ke Lunga” (Gangs of Wasseypur) and often hums the song when alone.

Pritam getting the award for Best Music Director very subtly proved that accusations of plagiarism are still better than singing when you can’t. Anu Malik and Himesh Reshammiya are yet to congratulate Pritam.

Irrfan Khan got the Critics’ Award for Best Actor. But some embarrassment followed when he mistakenly thanked the team of Life of Pi instead of Paan Singh Tomar, for which he had actually got the award. During the corrected speech, another prominent Bollywood actor was heard saying, “Paan Singh Tomar who? How many crores did it make?”

Shah Rukh and Saif had signed an agreement that they wouldn’t poke fun at Agent Vinod and Ra.One.

Shah Rukh and Saif had signed an agreement that they wouldn’t poke fun at Agent Vinod and Ra.One.

The ceremony also celebrated 100 years of Bollywood. Yet, somehow, some awards also went to movies like Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu and Shanghai. Somewhere in heaven, Prithvi Raj Kapoor and Gurudutt just did a facepalm.

The most controversial award turned out to be the award for Best Story. Ignoring some original, awe-inspiring and essentially absurd stories which made moviebuffs question the existence of God (like Ek Tha Tiger, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Heroine and even Cocktail), it was awarded to Vicky Donor. Some producers have decided to go on a hunger strike in protest against the decision. They argued that the award could not be given to a movie which has masturbation as the crux of the story.

A new award category “Trendsetter of the Year Award” was awarded to Barfi!, instead of the popular choice Vicky Donor. But the jury tried to justify the decision by saying that the increase in sperm donation ventures post Vicky Donor is nowhere near the total amount of Kaju Barfi sold at various Aggarwal Mishthan Bhandars throughout India post Barfi!.

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Ankit Sharma

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