Drunk Arnab Goswami found beatboxing, rapping and punching an electric pole

Arnab Goswami, host of the nation’s loudest shouting competition was found last night trying to incite an electric pole for a fisticuffs match. Gatekeeper of a nearby building was witness to this strange incident and was also victim to Arnab’s drunken tantrums.

The gatekeeper reports, “Arnab came striding through the main door into the bar. He looked frustrated. He was mumbling to himself, something about, ‘To hell with what the nation wants to know’. I think he was exhausted after 72 hours of work. The next thing we know he was so drunk he started beatboxing on his own ‘Never Ever Ever Ever Ever’ rap number.”

The Never Ever Ever Ever Rap Song

Excerpts from his rap are as follows (Warning: Explicit lyrics. Risk of ear bleeding)

“Never ever EVER
Question ma authority!
Are you a politician?
Or a chick from sorority!?


The nation wants to know,
I got a body like whoa!
So, let’s start this show,
You ugly li’l *beep*(hoe).

Get me a one on one,
‘Cuz it’s so funny.
With the guest who,
just said, that I TAKE MONEY?

Arnab does the 'move'.

Arnab does the ‘move’.

How dare you,
You’ve awakened a bear, you!
Now you gotta wrestle,
I doubba doubba double dare you!

*more beatboxing*

*throws punches at the electric pole*

My audience love me,
this is my show.
And that’s the bottom line
‘Cuz ARNAB said so! “

*more beatboxing*

*drops mic*

*gangsta pose*

We cannot show the full version video on our site, as it is offensive to women, rabbits, all religions, tribal groups, minorities, white people, black people, people who paint their faces purple for fun and the rest of the World.

Rajdeep Sardesai and Deepak Chaurasia bear the brunt of Arnab’s anger

After a while Arnab is reported to have lost it and tried to strangulate the pole. This resulted in a mild electric shock to which he squealed, “I hate YOU, Rajdeep!”

When the security guard tried to calm him down, he slapped him and shouted,  “Shut up Deepak Chaurasia! This is my channel!” Flummoxed by all this, the guard is said to have slapped him back which resulted in Arnab squatting and crying on the middle of the ruckus.

He mumbled, “How dare you!” again and again, this time in a whispering voice, amidst his muffled sniffs and sobs. A Times Now van is reported to have carried him away, thus ending the adventurous night for our beloved TV anchor.


About the author


Leave a Reply