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Matrimonial Classifieds, Ripped Apart!


If you want to understand a society better, you should pick up a newspaper and find your way to the classified section. And if you’re in a mood to do a hardcore sociological analysis (or if you’re looking for truckloads of entertainment), lick every word off the matrimonial section (not literally though, I mean, c’mon dude, that is just creepy)!

Anyway, after I went through the insanely hilarious “Bride/Groom hunting” advertisements today, I realized that not only are these funny, but they are strikingly similar to the advertisements of other market products. That said, my conclusion was that marriage is nothing but another economic market, with over a zillion boys and girls on display and a quirky advertising style. For example, take a look at these:

“Mr. and Mrs. Gupta own a 2 floor bungalow with 2 modular kitchens and are looking for a very fair and beautiful girl for their only son with a married sister. Please contact: 981XXXXXXX.”

After reading the very first line of this advertisement, it appears that Mr. and Mrs. Gupta are trying to sell off their old house to a pretty girl rather than trying to get her to fall in love with their son. And if a big house fails to work as an incentive for those “very fair and beautiful” ladies out there, a married sister is bound to do the trick! Whatever that’s supposed to signify!

“Wanted an extremely beautiful and excessively pretty, cultured and well-mannered girl or a highly qualified, working woman for a 42 year old, very handsome man who looks much younger. Please send your details to the following address. Photographs are a must!”

If using a lot of adjectives wins a woman’s heart, this very handsome gentleman, who happens to look much younger, will shortly receive bucket-loads of replies with attached photographs! Although, I must commend the way his mind works, pick a girl who is extremely beautiful OR one who is a highly qualified professional, either type can be bragged about at the parties!

Before we move on any further, somebody please tell me why Indian men are so mesmerized by women who are fair skinned and beautiful?! I mean Draupadi was a dusky Indian beauty who had five husbands! She did well in the matrimony department even without purchasing some thousand boxes of Fair and Lovely. What is so attractive about paper white, vampire-ish skin anyway?

“Daughter of Mr. Khurana, a well-known industrialist, seeks a handsome and smart boy from a reputed family, with a good job. Caste no bar.”

The message is pretty direct and extremely clear, Mr. Khurana wants to tell us this: “My daughter only wears Gucci, contact us keeping that fact in mind.”

“Wanted a groom for slim, fair, thirty years old, looks much younger, never married, 5 ft, sweet, homely, caring, responsible, intelligent Chartered Accountant, well versed in home activities, extremely good working, exceptionally sincere, dedicated, emotional, sincere.”

There you go boys, slim and fair! The cherry on the cake being that this lady also happens to look much younger than her age and is extremely good working! So I guess this is where you say, “Rishta pakka samjhiye!”

About the author

Charvi Jain


    • These are actual matrimonial advertisements! ! Aren’t they fun?? We Indians sure possess an awesome sense of humour (No matter if its unconscious!)!

  • That’s really funny, but, in which newspaper did you see such matrimonial ads??
    In India these things do matter, parents prefer only boy and girl of a parent over those having 2-3 siblings.
    Some people have something to justify, Its difficult for a 42 year old man to get a good girl and that is what he declared “I look much younger than 42” 🙂

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