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By Feb 24, 2013 • The Weekly Review

With so many bandhs happening, the MBA aspirant inside me got thinking over this large untapped market right here in India. While MBA colleges can introduce Bandh Management as a separate stream, some enterprising event management soul can sure build a multi-million dollar company around it to manage the end-to-end logistics of a bandh in a more structured way. The political parties could then just outsource the work to them and reap the benefits sitting at home, as they are already accustomed to. I hope if not IIMs, at least the ponytail is listening. Anyway, this week started with Trade Unions calling a Bharat Bandh and Mamata Banerjee’s party ensuring that the strike doesn’t have any effect in Bengal—both for the health of the intended (but completely innocent) recipient—the public. And how:

The trade unions had some demands of their own—so far so good, but they wanted to blackmail their ways into those demands by not working. The problem starts when they ask you and me as well to not work—well, at first thought, no harm in wishing that somebody would help you in your devious plans, but to force them to help by pelting stones at offices, harming private property, endangering individual lives—you don’t need a judge to tell you that it’s illegal in more ways than one.

Bharat BandhIn such a scenario, you got to admire Mamata’s jealousy for competition, when she could not tolerate somebody else getting the limelight using her modus operandi. Well at least at first when she took a firm stance against the Bandh and kept West Bengal in operation by using the administrative machinery; but things went on the extreme side when her henchman partyman made their apparent disgust for the Left evident by chopping off the “left” ear of a person missing a day’s work.

Condolences and compensations, till the next time
Another major unfortunate event of the week was the serial bomb blasts in Hyderabad. The impeccable adroitness with which these terrorist outfits execute two tasks simultaneously always amazes me, the tasks being: stealing the government’s balls and planting the bombs. The standard documented protocol to be followed after blasts was seen here as well, with the visit of Home Minister and other big political honchos to the site. There was the usual barrage of platitudes and hackneyed statements, which serve the unintended purpose of rubbing salts on the wounds… and then the life goes on.

For a country which sees so many unfortunate incidents of this type, you would think we might develop a full-fledged anti-terrorist cell which specializes in at least tracking down the perpetrators after the incident, if not to stop such incidents from happening (which might be a bit too ambitious for our politicians’ IQ, which remains on the south of 70s). But no such luck; as our life goes on, the government also gets back to its own business: the usual bickering and stalling the Parliament lest some work gets done. The police goes back to being its inefficient self; the justice system goes back to blocking more blogs and articles which are harming the country in a big way; and the public waits frightened for god knows when it might become the prey of some lunatic with his own vendetta, possessing weapons ranging from stones (Bharat Bandh) to RDX.

Awakening awaited
The month-long public awakening and the conscience that was “shaken” as an aftermath of the Delhi gangrape, categorically demonstrated by the candlelight vigils and the protests spread across India, lasted, well, “a month”. A 15 year old girl in Jaipur had to single-handedly fight off her molesters while the “awakened” bystanders watched and did nothing. Perhaps a little too much of an uncanny similarity to movies where one person fights the goons and people surround him in circles being the meek spectators. Reminds you of what Ramadhir Singh prophesied in Gangs of Wasseypur 2, “Jab tak is desh mein saneema hai, log chutiye bante rahenge.”

Apologies for old wrongs, as we suffer from never-ending ones
David Cameron has offered a sugar-coated apology for the Jallianwala Bagh massacre. Seeing the opportunity and the prevalent trend, the Sri Lankan Prime Minister should be quick to grab the mike and apologize for the indecent behaviour of Ravana for his “alleged” involvement in the abduction of Sita, right?

Tweet in Peace
In another news of too little too late events, Yahoo! is trying to revamp itself from the grave before the sand is poured over. Speaking of graves, a new app has been launched that would allow its users to tweet even after death. The app would map an online profile of yours based on your tweets so far, the people you interact with, the kind of content and articles you favourite and retweet and would continue to do so once you have passed away. I don’t know how useful or popular the app would be, but I can sure think of some ways to scare the shit out of people and do some really harmful pranks. May the app live long, as do you with it.

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