A Coaching Institute for Pregnant Women to Help Their Kids Grow Up to be IITians

Arunima Rath, June 12, 2012

The leading coaching institute Cheat-JEE has announced a competitive foundation course to train pregnant women to help their would-be babies have strong chances to enter the IITs right from the foetus stage.

“It is believed that the way the mother treats her baby and herself during the time of pregnancy plays a very important role in shaping the brain of the baby,” says a newspaper advertisement published by the institute today.

Only selected mothers who exhibit potential will be given a chance to avail this opportunity, a spokesperson for Cheat-JEE told us. They will be judged on the basis of their eagerness to see their children in IITs. As for now, this is the only criterion that shall help in deciding the deserving candidates, the institute said.

The institute has hired a few researchers led by Dr. ChatterJEE to develop a method to carry out an IQ test of the baby before birth. Once they come up with a way, the IQ of the foetus will also count along with the mother’s passion to get an entry into this program.

“During this program, the expectant mothers of future IITians will be looked after with intense care,” a brochure of the course reads. “Special care will be taken till the baby is delivered. It includes setting up of special maternity care units for the mothers. Every waking (and sleeping) moment of the mothers, including the posture in which they sleep, will be supervised and corrected where necessary.”

It says further: “They will be subjected to specially formulated dietary regimes and exclusive physical training by trained staff.”

A sure-shot method of getting your child into IIT

According to the brochure contents: “To make the program more effective, mothers of successful IITians will be hired, so that they can educate the new mothers about all the special etiquette required from a successful mother.”

An insider source said the institute is looking into research that has shown that the baby’s mind responds well if the mother is allowed to sleep with an IIT preparatory book under her pillow or on her belly. Once this is confirmed, the institute will consider doing this before letting mothers handle huge and heavy books.

During the course, mothers and foetuses will be trained to accept physics or math formulae and valencies of elements as an alternative to ‘unnecessary’ and ‘pointless’ singing of lullabies. Special electromagnetic sensors shall be used to help increase the IQ of the baby. Subjecting the mother to such waves for at least 15 minutes daily is believed to bring good results.

“Once the babies are born, no time shall be wasted on telling toddlers about Mary and her little lamb,” the brochure explains. “Their learning process will start with ‘How to fill up OMR sheets’. They will also be taught to estimate the right kind of pattern to draw in the OMR sheet in case they do not know the correct answers to the questions. As the students grow up, they will be subsequently promoted to the regular coaching classes. These trained students will have a separate batch to prioritize and distinguish them from the regular ones.”

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