Prateek Singhal, May 14, 2015

The automobile industry is trying to build cars that can travel on dividers and footpaths. These cars will be designed to meet the needs of 12-year-olds and alcoholics.

Sources have confirmed that this prototype vehicle is a pilot project under the Narendra Modi government’s “achhe din” programme.

Solution to traffic congestion, finally?

“Well, of course, Modiji wants his proposed smart cities to be free from trivial problems like traffic congestion,” an official in the transport ministry said. “Since there isn’t enough space to build roads anymore, he’s trying to build a vehicle that doesn’t require roads at all.”

These new cars – if such a term can be used – will reportedly be able to travel on dividers, potholes and even laterally on two wheels. “Just imagine all the extra parking space we’ll have,” said Ram, a starry-eyed upper-middle-class supporter of the Bharatiya Janata Party, who has four cars in a family of three.

“A truly two-in-one car”

Ram further said: “My 12-year-old son has recently started driving, and it’s a relief to know that the government is making a vehicle that is especially beneficial for children like him. Maybe 5–6 years down the line, he will start drinking with his friends too and the car will still come in handy then.”

RSS: “The idea is not new”

The Sangh Parivar says the idea is not new. “In the time of Ayodhya, Lord Rama used to travel by cars that glided on rocks,” a pracharak of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh said on Facebook. “Our rishis have seen it with their eyes. We came up with this idea first. Sab kuch ved me likha hai.”