Garima Sharma, January 5, 2013

Special etiquette classes for Delhi Police to deal with crimes against women will teach them to brush their teeth, bathe and shave daily and use deodorants heavily. They need to exercise daily, and be on diet to reduce their overtly fluffy tummies. To target the ailing mentality, they are to watch Mother India, Jhansi ki Rani and few other prescribed “women-oriented and meaningful” movies.

Strict instructions by course teachers prohibit them from watching new movies and listening to item songs, especially by a certain singer. As part of the curriculum, they will be sending friend requests on Facebook to all the girls residing in Delhi, and liking their pictures, display photos and statuses daily.

“We have been forced to start this course as there has been a lot of criticism,” an insider said. “We have always received stepmotherly treatment from women. While women have always swooned over men from Air Force and the Army, we have never been ‘eyed’ by any girl. In fact, when they see us, they run as if they have seen a ghost.”

He added: “Women are more scared of us than they are of goons. They also completely avoid areas with police stations at all times during day and night. We hope to put an end to this.”

In other measures as part of the initiative, new colourful police uniforms have been ordered with pink caps and red shoes to attract ladies.

While the Delhi Police hopes to counter rape through these measures, the buzz suggests Delhi girls have decided to block all policemen who send them friend requests, as “policewaalon ki to dushmani bhi buri hai, aur dosti bhi”.