Tanay Sukumar, February 14, 2015

Baring his heart out to himself, Narendra Modi, whose 56-inch chest has women swooning all over him, proposed to himself on Valentine’s Day.

The Indian Prime Minister whose chai turns him into Casanova, unfortunately rejected his own proposal, calling Narendra Modi a self-obsessed narcissist.

“Will I marry me?” asked Mr. Modi to himself, wearing his distinct Rs-10-lakh suit with “Narendra Modi” inscribed all over it. However, his love interest was unimpressed by this Don Draper charm of his.

“Mitron,” said Mr. Modi addressing a press conference at Central Park, Delhi where the heartbreak took place. “Achche din aa gaye hain, heartbreak creates body builders,” said Mr. Modi.

The Hindu Mahasabha found nothing unnatural about this incident. They defended the rejection, “Their gotras don’t match.”

Receiving tremendous support from his Bhakts, the Modi supporters outdid themselves by creating a temple for him and for his true and only love, himself.

“This concept of creating monument for a lover was inspired by Shah Jahan, but if you read our vedas, this concept already existed before the Mughals invaded us and destroyed all that we hold sacred,” said a vociferous Bhakt.

However, some relatives are apprehensive about this relationship. “There should be at least one person in a relationship who knows how to cook, sirf chai pe thodi jeeyoge!” the concerned relatives voiced their opinions.

Contributions by: Pratul Bagri, Kumar Pratik and Karan Taneja.